What Does It Mean To Be Asexual?
What Is Asexual?
There can be a big difference between being attracted to the genders, and just liking― or even loving― the way things look. Sometimes when you love something, you can only be attracted to it physically. Asexuality isn't the same as being lesbian, bisexual, gay, or transgender. There are a lot of different ways to love people, and sometimes just liking how they look can be enough for sexual attraction. Asexual are just individuals who don't experience sexual attraction.
Types of attraction asexuals might experiences:
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Romantic attraction:
Asexuality does not mean that the person cant experience any feelings. Just like any other gender, asexual can also be interested in romantic relationships.
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Platonic attraction:
Interested to be friends with the person.
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Emotional attraction:
Asexual just like every other sex want to be an emotional connection with a person.
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Sensual or physical attraction:
Just because they don’t feel sexual attraction doesn’t mean they cant desire any physical attraction. Physical attraction like holding hands, cuddling, touch, etc are things asexual can be interested in as other genders do.
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Aesthetic attraction:
Asexual can also have attraction based on how the person looks.
Every asexual person is different and has different experiences. They may fall in love, get married, have children, or even have orgasms
Spectrum
In LGBTQIAP+, A stands for asexual spectrum. It has got 2 orientations under it, Sexual orientation and romantic orientation.
Asexual are different in the way of fulfilling their emotional needs.
Some asexuals need a romantic relationship, some want a physical relationship with either the same sex or with a different sex.
Some asexuals do not prefer sexual contact, while some are neutral and some prefer sexual contact to increase trust and connection.
Aromantic orientation:
These asexuals do not interfere /indulge / experience in any romantic relationships. They might prefer platonic relations with other relationships.
Demisexual
They can get close in a sexual after an emotional connection.
Graysexual
These are people who are somewhere in between sexual and asexual orientation.
They can be interested in romantic relations sometimes
They can experience sexual attractions sometimes
They can even desire a fore sexual and romantic relationship but it is dependent on the circumstances.
How do you know if you are asexual?
Sometimes people lose interest in sexual contact with the person. But it must not be mistaken with asexuality. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, who always have low sexual desire or sexual contact.
How is asexuality different from celibacy?
Celibacy or abstinence is a conscious decision. They don’t participate in sexual activities even if they are attracted sexually.
Asexuality is also often confused with hypoactive sexual desire disorder also called as sexual aversion disorder. These are medical conditions cause due to various reasons primarily due to anxiety and stress.
Asexuality is not abstinence by choice or by religion. It not even aversion, sexual dysfunction, or loss of libido. It is a sexual orientation in which people are more inclined to emotional needs than sexual needs.
Libido without sexual attraction
Asexual people might have sexual drive ( a little to no sex drive) and also have a libido. They also have sex, get orgasms, and masturbate just like any other orientation.
They do not get attracted sexually. Now that doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy sex. An asexual person might want to have sex for various reasons
- To satisfy libido
- To have children
- To strengthen the emotional connection and trust with their partner
- To enjoy the pleasure
Some common myths around Asexuality
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Cause
Unlike homosexuality or bisexuality, Asexuality does not have an underlying cause. It is just the way they are.
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Asexual engage in sexual activities
Many assume that asexual don’t have sex ad they don’t enjoy it.
It is untrue, just like any other orientation can have sex and enjoy it. They just have low sexual desire.
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Romantic attraction and desire are very different from sexual attraction and desire
Many assume that sex with a person and romantic relationships are interlinked. Having sec and desire for a romantic relationship is completely different.
The former one being desire to have sex and the later being having desire to a romantic relationship
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Asexuality is not about not having a partner
It is commonly assumed that people haven’t experienced sexual attraction or just because they haven’t found their soulmate yet.
But asexuality has nothing to do with it.
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Asexuality is not fear of intimacy
Asexuality is not because of fear of intimacy. sexual desire is different from sexual attraction
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Asexuals can shift their preferences
Asexuality is fluid in nature. You might experience sexual desire later in your life. Or you might have been sexually attracted in the past
No matter what your preferences are shifted, it is totally normal.
This doesn’t mean that they are confused about their sexuality.
Take Away
Asexuals also called Aces and it is a sexual orientation.
There are many things that people misunderstand about asexuality and there is a lot much to know about it. Asexuality means different things to different people. It is always important to support them.